Anonymous’ Stories

I’m not sure how much of this is birth rape, as I’ve heard such horror stories being on ICAN for so many years, as well as other groups.  But if you can use them, here’s what I’ve got:
1st birth:
“spread your legs so I can put this gel in there”
(1st I’d heard of it, NO CONSENT)  I said “What is it?”
“oh just a little something to get things started, don’t worry”
me: naive, felt powerless
Then the cervical check from hell by a nurse w/ LONG FAKE FINGERNAILS and no apologies.
The cervical check, spread-eagled to the door, as an orderly pops in to change the trash.
unnecessary c-section
2nd birth:
After a good labor at midwife’s private birth center, I had pushed for 3 hours without much progress, and was told to transport the nearby hospital.  Because I was a VBAC, the hospital staff went nuts and acted angry that we attempted to VBAC with a midwife and not in the hospital.  The said that the external fetal monitor in my room was “broke” and so they used a doppler to find the baby’s heartbeat, but they said they couldn’t locate it, even though the midwife, the assistant midwife and my husband all heard and saw on the doppler screen a good heartbeat reading.
The doctor then rushed in and said we’d do a cesarean stat.  They wheeled me down to the OR as my husband and I both yelled “we do not consent to a cesarean.”  I was still contracting and flat on my back and could not get up off that table.  They couldn’t find a vein and poked me numerous times up and down both arms…my entire inner arms from wrist to elbow were black and blue for months.  When the anesthesiologist or nurse anesthesiologist finally came to my head w/ the mask, I said “Please knock me out so I don’t feel this.” (I had friends who felt their surgeries while under, unable to tell anyone)  He said “Ma’am I’ll try, but this is an emergency.”  I was fine, the baby was fine, good apgars.  A week later I rehospitalized (diff. hospital thankfully) w/ a wound infection, that had to be packed and cleaned for 2 + months and left a larger hernia to deal with.  That hospital had been so filthy, I have to believe that played a part.  I was harassed by doctors and nurses my entire stay in the original hospital for doing that crazy thing.
Third birth:
Placental abruption and uterine rupture resulting in infant loss and near-death. The risk of all this goes up after cesareans.  When we called 911 and I was taken to the hospital, in extreme pain, I couldn’t make them believe I was rupturing.  They tried to hush me, calm me down, continuing to prep for a birth and I was begging them to get me into the OR ‘now”.
Ironic huh?   They just don’t listen to the mom. They finally did when I crashed.
If I hadn’t been….well, lied to, harassed, pressured, forced, pushed,  humiliated, abused, drugged, beaten-down, disrespected, intimidated, poked,  prodded, bullied, suffocated, strapped down, and cut and…birth raped…I wouldn’t have gone through this.  Yes, I WAS birthraped after all.

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